Everything I need to know about living fearlessly, I learned from bellydance

I’m a bellydancer.

I’d like to think that I’m a pretty good bellydancer who puts on a great show, helps promote the art of Middle Eastern Dance and someone who is pleasing to watch. All those paid dinner shows and gigs and bellygrams lead me to think that I’ve achieved that goal somewhat.

But it wasn’t always like that. Folks, I was the quintessential white girl dancin’. I liked to dance, but I couldn’t follow a beat if it left a trail of tequila shots for me.

I was that girl at The State Fair of Oklahoma or at Society for Creative Anachronism medieval events watching those graceful, lovely, sparkly dancers thinking, “Ooooh. That’s so pretty. I wish I could do that… I could NEVER do that. I can’t dance.”

There’s that word: Can’t. I hate that word. I hate that I used up so much precious time when I was young and scared on that word.

Somewhere along the line, that inner soul of me began hating that word too. I took a lot of risks when I was younger – some really good, some really freakin’ stupid (like sneaking off to L.A. with some friends in a band and not telling anyone or going across country in a stolen car) – but I started to face up to fear and just “do it.”

Even before I began bellydancing, I think I started to realize certain aspects about life. One: you don’t save up life, you spend it! If you keep saying,” One day, I will…” then you’ll end up on your deathbed wondering where that “one day” went.

But, to sum it all up, my journey in learning to bellydance suits this post just fine. Learning to dance was all about learning to overcome fears, so without further ado, here ya go:

EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIVING FEARLESSLY, I LEARNED FROM BELLYDANCE <insert Zaghareet right here> Zaghareet is that “li li li li” sound done really really fast and high that you hear Middle Eastern women do… it’s kind like clapping!

1. TRY IT: I’d wanted to learn bellydance for years. It wasn’t until a friend asked me to go to a class with her that I did it. Did I think I’d be good at it. Hell no!!!

But I was willing to try. The first class was horrendous. I felt like an elephant on roller skates, but I gave it the good ol’ college try. I look back and cringe at how my life would be so less fulfilled today if I hadn’t been willing to just try it.

2. STICK TO IT-IVNESS: As I said, I was horrible when I first started. I threw my hips to the side like someone trying to knock a fence down with my butt. But, then again, I knew I wasn’t going to pick it up right away.

The second class was just a little bit easier. The third a bit easier than that… and so on. I practiced my walking shimmies at work, at home, pushing the cart at the grocery store until I could do it somewhat well. My teacher, Soraya Al Musri, allowed me to learn at my own pace.

Sure, there were times I wanted to quit. Once, I just simply couldn’t get the hang of a flat maya, and I was driven to tears. I didn’t want to go back to the next class… but I did. Now I flat maya all the time.

Lesson: It’s going to be hard at first, but stick with it. It ain’t hard, it’s just new.

3. DON’T BE AFRAID OF LOOKING LIKE A FOOL: This one I got! Ha!  There were times in class where I was doing something so horrendously that Soraya couldn’t help but just laugh at me. I didn’t blame her – I ended up laughing too.

Once, during a big show, my belt came unhooked and dropped to the ground… along with my skirt. Yup, there I was, standing in front of 100 people in my underwear… not pretty underwear either – granny panties.

Once you hear the shocked gasp of 100 people at once, I’m here to tell you: You’ll remember that sound for the rest of your life. But, I ran to the back of the stage and pinned up my costume. When I ran back out to rejoin the routine, the audience applauded me.

You’ll look like a fool a lot of times. Let people laugh… at least you took the risk and you stuck to it. I find most people forgive your embarrassing moments.

Also: always wear pretty underwear

4. DON’T BE AFRAID TO FAIL: This one kind of goes hand in hand with No. 3. When something goes wrong, or when you feel like you’ve failed at something, it’s just an opportunity to learn how NOT to fail again.

When I first started learning sword (dancing while balancing a sword on my head), I just kept dropping it. All the other girls got it just fine, but my sword kept slipping off my head. At our big Spring Showcase, in front of the audience, my sword was the only one to fall during the show.

I was devastated. I felt like I let the whole troupe down. I was angry and I was embarrassed.

After that, every day after work, I’d come home and put that sword on my head. I’d walk around with it, do the dishes with it, sit and watch television and even go to the bathroom with that sword on my head.

Now, I’m known as “the sword girl.” People come to me to learn how to use sword during bellydance.

5. PEOPLE WILL TRY TO STOP YOU – DON’T LET THEM: For some reason, people get really angry when they see you doing something you love that’s a little outrageous or outside their comfort zone. I had women call me “a slutty ass-shaker” while other called me a “raghead lover.” Still others are more sly. I’ve had bosses at work suggest my career could be hurt by my hobby.

I had other dancers sneer at me. I had others tell me to stop wasting my time on something I’d never go “professional” with.

Screw them. It’s not their life, it’s yours. Do what gives you joy, but beware of the energy vampires that will try to keep you from living the adventurous, fun life. They may be jealous.

LASTLY: DO WHAT YOU ENJOY: Whether its bellydancing or knitting or running or taxidermy, if it brings you joy and no harm to others, then follow your dreams. I love bellydancing. Twelve years now, I’ve been shimmying and undulating and balancing swords, and it’s as much a part of me as my heart and my blood and my soul is.

All those lessons can be applied to any part of your life, whether it be family or work or hobbies or dreams.

Now, go be fearless!

Want to learn to bellydance too? Go to www.aalimdanceworld.com